Another year, another bicycle tour. This year I'm biking from Boston to Milwaukee. I have about two weeks to complete the mission. For those who are not familiar with my annual tour: I'm self sustaining. Nothing more than I can carry on my ride, no company other then the people I meet on the road and no sleeping in hotels/motels if I can help it. It's familiar territory having toured from Milwaukee to places like Colorado, Canada, South Dakota, Minnesota, South Carolina, Ireland and Spain. Hope you enjoy tagging along. Visit often and invite your friends.

Monday, July 30, 2007

I flew out on United Airways from Mitchell International to Chicago and on to Boston using a frequent flier ticket. Frequent flier miles are about as big a joke as time shares, one size fits all, and the EZ tax form.

The 6:38 a.m. flight was on time however there was a significant wait to get through security. The line at the check point was about three blocks long, which is about twice as long as the wait to get into a Taylor Hicks concert.

The odd surprise was the TSA agent took theatrical delight informing us about security screening procedures. The agent with a dark flat top walked around with hands behind his back, a drill sergeant demeanor and an "I'm talking to you" attitude.

"If you can spill it, spray it, hold it up and say, 'But what about this?' you will NOT get it through security," he barked. "Any liquids -- Starbucks, soda, soda water, tonic water, Yoo Hoo ... you will NOT get it through security."

During the safety review the overhead speakers repeated their daily mantra that Homeland Security level was at orange, although the ATF agent was operating as if it were code blood red.

Darlene Hixon of Colorado was in line ahead of me and swore we were in a "Saturday Night Live" skit. She poked her head around the line and scanned frequently for hidden cameras.

"No gels or aerosols. Even if you have a tiny bottle of Visine buried in the bottom of your bag, life WILL-STOP-AS-YOU-KNOW-IT," said the TSA agent punching out his words with a FEMAish reality check. "A guy with rubber gloves will RUMMAGE through your stuff and the business traveler behind you will glare at you with road rage," he continued with quite a bent for the dramatic.