How in the world can you explain this incredible streak of frustration and horror that is the Brewers playoff record?

Their streak of 26 years without a playoff appearance may be the longest such streak in the world of professional sports. It's certainly not a streak to be proud of and the shame of it extends to the entire city. Say what you will, in Milwaukee we love our baseball and we continue to love our Brewers despite this record of misery.

I've been giving this a lot of thought this month as I've watched this team go from one of the best in baseball to one of the worst in the blink of an eye.

It's not as if this organization hasn't tried. They've hired and fired managers, coaches and general managers. They've signed free agents and traded fan favorites. They've changed owners. They've tried small ball, big ball, bouncing ball, Wiffle Ball and bubble ball. They've had cheerleaders and dancers and relatives who sing the national anthem. They keep bringing retired heroes back hoping some of their magic rubs off on the newer guys.

Nothing has worked. When it's time for the playoffs, the Brewers sit at home. We fans tune into football. The experts spend hours trying to figure out what went wrong -- again.

After hours and hours of thought and examination, and asking people who know more about this stuff than I do, I've come up with what I think might just be an answer that makes some sense.

The Brewers are cursed.

It wouldn't be the first time that a sports franchise was cursed. Boston's Curse of the Bambino and the Chicago Cubs' Billy Goat curse are probably the most famous. But there are lots of other curses in sports. There's the Runner-Up Curse, Curse of the Balboni, the Curse of Coogan's Bluff, the Curse of Detroit, the Madden Curse and the Merkle Curse as well as the Socceroos Witch Doctor Curse and the Krukow Kurse.

I wanted to know more about these curses, so I contacted Dr. Saulat Khan, who lives in India and starts his e-mails with the phrase "Greetings from India." He's a psychic and faith healer who says he can improve life for anybody.

On his Web site, Dr. Khan talks about lot of different things, but he hits the idea of genies very hard. He says everyone knows that genies are made of fire and that rituals or ceremonies can summon them.

I asked Dr. Khan if an organization like the Brewers could have been cursed. He said that curses could certainly extend to an organization, not just individuals.

He also said that curses could be lifted with the proper ceremonies. You need to have 8-inch candles that are green and white and gray. And you need a few clay saucers. You need a heavy-duty safety pin and a bag of charcoal. And you need a knife to engrave the word "drevida" on the green candle.

The other thing that is helpful, although it's not necessary, is the name and birthdate of the person who placed the curse on the Brewers. I'm not sure how you figure that out.

The easy thing, of course, is to blame anybody named Selig. But that would have meant they had put a curse on themselves, and that hardly seems likely.

So, what I think is that somebody should hire my new friend. Maybe the Brewers can hire him. Maybe the Chamber of Commerce or the mayor's office. How about the governor or Miller Brewing? All you've got to do is read his Web site to know that he can help.

"World of Magic Spells, Talismans, Charms, Voodoo, Love Spells, Money Spells, Protection from Witchcraft, Black Magic and more. Here you will find every thing that you are looking for, a place where impossible can be made possible."

That's what we're looking for. Make the impossible possible.

Bring on the candles and clay.