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In Sports Commentary
It's time to take a knee and consider the future
Packers defensive tackle Corey Williams ponders the offseason.
By Dave Begel RSS Feed
Special to OnMilwaukee.com

E-mail author | Author bio
More articles by Dave Begel

Published Jan. 22, 2008 at 5:22 a.m.
Tags: packers, giants, brewers, attanasio, melvin, hardy, yi jianlian, larry harris, dick cheney

So, we all had one hell of a hangover on Monday after the Packers lost Sunday night.

It was almost like I'd had two bottles of Wild Turkey in one evening. But the hangover is gone now, for all of us. It's Tuesday, and we've recovered.

Looking back, with the clarity of hindsight, we can revel in what an absolutely outstanding year of football the Packers had.

And what made it most special was what an incredible surprise it was. We all expected this team to finish near the bottom. But it didn't and we all were shocked.

How big a surprise is it that the Packers were in the NFC championship game with a chance to go to the Super Bowl?

Well, it's a bigger surprise than the following things that are going to happen this year.

Feel free to throw in others that you might know about.

  • The Brewers decide to thank their faithful fans by lowering all tickets to $10 for the months of June, July and August.
  • The Family First Foundation gives its annual Mother of the Year Award to Britney Spears. The Father of the Year goes to Shawn Kemp.
  • John Mercure quits his job at Channel 4, goes back to college, and then takes a job as a counselor for convicted sex predators.
  • The Bucks give general manager Larry Harris a 10-year extension.
  • The guy who is Gary Ellerson's partner on WSSP's afternoon drive show says something smart or memorable.
  • Somebody will actually see Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett.
  • Herb Kohl announces he is resigning from the Senate so he can personally take charge and devote full time to his basketball team.
  • Mark Attanasio announces that his father is going to sing before every Brewers game, but instead of the National Anthem, he will sing "O Sole Mio."
  • Scott Walker announces he is happy being County Executive and won't run for Congress, the Senate, Governor, President, School Board, Sheriff or King.
  • Doug Melvin says he can't keep all his young players when they become free agents so he trades J.J. Hardy and Ryan Braun to the Yomiuri Giants for 19 left-handed Japanese major- and minor-league pitchers.
  • With their signing bonuses, new Brewers Eric Gagne and Mike Cameron buy a Walgreen's franchise.
  • Woody Allen says he's not doing any more comedies and announces he will direct a remake of "The Sound of Music" starring Paris Hilton.
  • In October, Prince Fielder steals his 131st base, breaking the record of 130 held by Rickey Henderson.
  • Bill Clinton announces he is finally getting a divorce from Hillary and will marry Oprah. Through tears, Hillary announces she's very attracted to Mike Huckabee.
  • Julia Roberts announces her divorce so she and the twins can get back together with Lyle Lovett.
  • Derrick Turnbow sends an e-mail to Mark Attanasio asking for permission to cut his hair.
  • Yi Jianlian, saying he loves the bucolic life, purchases 250 acres in rural Kenosha County and uses it to build a replica of the Great Wall of China.
  • Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt announce they will star in a remake of "Casablanca." In a modern twist, Angelina says she will play Sam.
  • Tiger Woods announces he will retire because Jack Nicklaus bought him off.
  • The Admirals raise ticket prices to $100, $75 and $50. Then they announce they have sold out of season tickets. But they also announce they won't prove it.
  • All four local television stations will buy one computer together and fire all their weathermen, admitting they don't know crap and the only thing people care about is how much snow fell and how hot / cold will it be tomorrow.
  • The new people on WKTI will make listeners forget about Reitman and Mueller.
  • Barbara Walters, Whoopi Goldberg, Annika Sorenstam, the Queen of England and Janet Reno all announce they are converting to Mormonism and will marry Mitt Romney.
  • George Clooney and Michael Jordan kill each other in an armed duel to determine which one gets to date Rosie O'Donnell.
  • Dick Cheney is arrested while on his knees next to a glory hole in an adult bookstore in Baltimore and claims he was there for a summit on defense spending with Sen. Larry Craig.
  • Tom Cruise says he's done with Katie, Scientology and his kids and is going to try and date Ashton Kutcher.
6 comments about this article.
Post a comment / write a review.

Recent Talkbacks ...

Posted by EliCash on Jan. 22, 2008 at 6:10 p.m. (report)

Dave Begel 'strikes again.' I've noticed more negative reactions to his articles than anyone else....is there more to it than just writing a questionable article on occasion? ...I do agree though, this article was a bit of a waste of time and struggled to make me even laugh in my head (let alone out loud). I thought it was going to be a Packers article, to begin with, and then it turned into something totally different/irrelevant... Maybe next time, Dave...

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Posted by sandstorm on Jan. 22, 2008 at 2:10 p.m. (report)

i agree. i don't get it. i think it was supposed to be funny, but i'm not sure as none of it was. tom cruise to date ashton kutcher??? as the kids say-"whatever"

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Posted by patrickm1964 on Jan. 22, 2008 at 1:53 p.m. (report)

Disappointing. I will not pretend to be able to provide more entertaining and insightful material than Mr. Begel, but then again I don't get paid to do so. This column doesn't qualify as entertaining, funny or insightful. Very disappointing.

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Posted by MeanEdGein on Jan. 22, 2008 at 11:13 a.m. (report)

Nothing on Michael Hunt? Very surprised.

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Posted by JoshHeller on Jan. 22, 2008 at 9:55 a.m. (report)

I agree. Not funny. Not offensive. Not entertaining. Not anything.

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