Back in April, I blogged about the $84 / three-point ticket I received from Shorewood's Finest, after making an allegedly illegal U-turn on Capitol Drive. The blog received 44 Talkbacks, some defending my maneuver and others condemning it. Either way, the topic of dubious driving and its enforcement in Milwaukee's suburbs fired people up.

Yesterday, I had my day in court. I fought the law, and the law won.

As generally unpleasant as both receiving the ticket, then fighting it, was, the final verdict of $121 and zero points was probably worth it for the experience. And it was one that I don't plan on repeating any time soon.

Here's what happened:

Upon the stellar advice of my coworkers, I showed up at the Shorewood Municipal Court an hour before my 5 p.m. hearing. The system is first-come, first-served, sort of (more on that in a minute).

I was the third person there, but the second was a crazy man delivering a loud, angry and fairly threatening tirade to the very empty courtroom. I decided that my primo place in line wasn't worth being physically assaulted, and after another woman witnessed the spectacle, the village hall secretary called the cops, who work next door.

A good 15 minutes passed, and no one showed up, but when the secretary called again, two officers (including the one who wrote me the U-turn ticket) waltzed in and ejected the crazy man. I took my seat, now fifth in line.

Over the next 20 minutes, the courtroom filled with samples of every stereotype and walk of life you'd imagine in such a setting. Some people were friendly, others agitated, the rest looked tired and sweaty like me. When the clerk asked that we line up in order of arrival, two people from the back of the room sprinted to the front, literally shoving the rest of us out of line.

One guy eventually went back the end of the line. But the other tiny woman, who spoke very little English, wouldn't budge. She just shouted, pouted and crossed her arms until the rest of us, rolling our eyes, let her stand there. The one defense attorney I saw who showed up for a client went immediately into a meeting with the village attorney, completely bypassing the long line.

At about 5:10, the clerk asked me to enter my plea, instantly offering to drop my points to two while leaving the $84 intact. I asked to speak to the village attorney, and about five minutes later, I did just that. We spoke for a few minutes in the back hall.

The village attorney was a nice guy. He asked me for my side of the story, and when I explained it to him, he asked if I made an "egregious" U-turn. I said no. He offered to eliminate my points down to zero but to raise my fine to $121.60. I explained that I had witnesses who had Talkbacked to my previous blog, that there weren't any "no U-turn" signs, that construction had forced me to act quickly.

But the village attorney was in for a long night, and understandably, he simply wasn't interested in letting me off the hook scot-free.

I made one last attempt: "Sir, I really don't think I did anything wrong."

Almost genially, he told me that a criminology professor once told him 30 years ago that if citizens knew every law they broke each day, it would probably number in the dozens. Translation: them's the breaks, kid.

The attorney said that I could opt for a trial at some date in the future, so I asked him, point blank, if I should. He said, and I'm paraphrasing, "It's up to you. You never know, but I wouldn't."

And that ended my legal battle with Shorewood. This questionable traffic move cost me $121.60, amended to an "improper signal for stop of turn," but it won't raise my insurance rates. And as a deterrent, I'll certainly never perform a U-turn in Shorewood again.

Come to think of it, I might spend a little less time in Shorewood, in general.

It doesn't take a conspiracy theorist to understand what was going on last night. The village is pretty much printing money by nailing people for minor traffic offenses, then using the fear of points to pound them into submission. Sure, we have the option for a trial, but after a very unpleasant experience in municipal court, who wants to go through that again?

Bottom line, it's best to tread very lightly in a suburb where the cops are more concerned about hassling people for making slow, careful U-turns than they are in fighting real crimes.

The Shorewood PD has a lot much time on its hands, apparently. But all that time is paying off by shaking down passers-by for not following strange statutes to the letter of the law.

Lesson learned by this city slicker.