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Comedy sequel "Hot Tub Time Machine 2" winds up all wet

Published Feb. 22, 2015

In movies, time travel typically ends up in the hands of the decent or deserving. "Hot Tube Time Machine 2" proposes ... what if it didn't? What if, instead, it wound up in the depraved hands of a bunch of restrained man-child ids, who then proceeded to violate space, time and everyone and everything they ran into along the way? The answer? Some laughs, I guess. A good amount of silence too. Bags don't come much more mixed than this.

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"The SpongeBob Movie": Under the sea, but goofily higher than a kite

Published Feb. 14, 2015

Over 16 years of "SpongeBob SquarePants," the Nickelodeon cartoon's blend of childish giddiness, meta jokes and kooky non sequiturs has landed alongside Fruit Roll-Ups and naps in the middle section of a Venn diagram of things kids and cannabis users can equally love. That's certainly the case with the chatty cleaning device's delightfully wackadoodle second big screen trip, "The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water."

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"Fifty Shades of Grey" whips the novel into decent cinematic shape

Published Feb. 14, 2015

Considering that source material is erotic "Twilight" fan fiction, the bar isn't exactly set high, but overall, there's a surprising amount of cinematic pleasure to be found in "Fifty Shades of Grey" - plus an unfortunately predictable amount of pain.

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Long-delayed, painfully generic "Seventh Son" leaves zero impact

Published Feb. 7, 2015

It's been a long, pothole-filled journey to the big screen for "Seventh Son," one that unfortunately has not been worth it. A tired story, dull performances and uninspired filmmaking team up to make a movie that plays like the last moldy pfft of air finally escaping from a long-forgotten deflated balloon. It's a film destined to be forgotten without bothering to leave any sign it ever existed in the first place.

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