Blog entries for Coach_Brad

100 Most Influential Sports Educators in America

Coach_Brad — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 05:38:26 GMT

The Institute for International Sport reported its Executive Director, Dan Doyle, administered a series of “coach and athlete” surveys for his forthcoming book, The Encyclopedia of Sport Parenting. Mr. Doyle found a common theme among both present and former surveyed athletes emerged.

Many pointed to the profound impact of the sports experience in shaping their views and practices regarding teamwork, self discipline, fair play, diversity– and a term Doyle employs throughout the book – competitive self restraint. Many also pointed to former coaches and athletic administrators as key mentors in their lives.

Top 20 Most Influential Sports Educators in America

1. Acosta, Vivian PhD, Professor Emerita at the City University of New York’s Brooklyn College and co-author with Dr. Linda Carpenter on Title IX issues and statistics on women in sports.

2. Agassi, Andre, Former World No. 1 tennis player and founder of the Andre Agassi Charitable Foundation.

3. Alford, Diane, Executive Director of The Miracle League.

4. Bayh, The Honorable Birch, Former U.S. Senator from Indiana and author of Title IX of the Higher Education Act.

5. Beaney, Bill, Head Men’s Hockey Coach at Middlebury College.

6. Begay, Notah, The only Native American ever on the PGA Tour, and founder of the Notah Begay III Foundation.

7. Bettis, Jerome, Former NFL all-star, and Founder of the “Cyber Bus” program.

8. Bigelow, Bob, Former NBA player and youth sports author and speaker.

9. Bowen, William, Co-author of “The Game of Life: College Sports and Educational Values” with James Shulman.

10. Brand, Dr. Myles, President of the NCAA.

11. Burnett, Dr. Darrell, Clinical Psychologist specializing in Youth Sports Psychology.

12. Campbell, Myles, Athletic Director at Our Lady of Mount Carmel High School in Tenafly, New Jersey.

13. Carpenter, Linda Jean PhD JD, Professor Emerita at the City College of New York’s Brooklyn College and co-author with Dr. Vivian Acosta on Title IX issues and statistics on women in sports.

14. Coakley, Jay PhD, Professor Emeritus, University of Colorado at Colorado Springs, author and journal editor.

15. Conradt, Jody, Former Head Women’s Basketball Coach at the University of Texas and the second woman inducted into the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame.

16. Costas, Bob, Emmy award winning sportscaster, commentator and sports historian.

17. Curry, Bill, Former NFL player, head college football coach and sportscaster, and Executive Director of Leadership at the Baylor School.

18. Deford, Frank, Author and commentator and a Senior Contributing Writer at Sports Illustrated.

19. DeFrantz, Anita, Former two-time Olympian and the first woman to be elected vice president of the International Olympic Committee. President of the LA84 Foundation.

20. Edwards, Dr. Harry, Activist, professor, sports consultant and author on issues of race in sports.

If you are interested in reading the other 80 on the list click the link below. You can also go to www.makingkidscoachable.blogspot.com where you can read The 15 Most Influential Teams in America.

Meet Franky No

Coach_Brad — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 11:23:26 GMT

Franky is a typical toddler who gets into trouble doing the silly things children do. When Franky does something wrong, his family says, “Franky, no!” Eventually, Franky heard it enough that one day, not surprisingly, when someone asked him, “What is your name?” Franky responded, “My name is Franky, Franky No.” At the embarrassment of his mother, everyone listening found Franky’s response amusing. This example begs the question, how likely is it your child’s last name could be No?

Whether Franky, Sam, Mary, or Pam estimates are, by age five, children will have heard the word “No” 40,000 times. As a parent, communicating the difference between right and wrong to children is seldom easy and rarely happens at convenient times. What is easy is cutting corners and simply telling children “No.” The problem is when they hear it so much, children become immune to the effects of the word “No.” When it does have an effect, children can be confused by its meaning. For example, you know the difference between the disagreeing “no” of buying them candy and the panicked reaction of yelling “No” to the hazards of a hot stove. Does your child?

One way to avoid being unheard or sending confusing messages when your child is faced with a potentially dangerous situation is to change what you say. One suggestion is to replace “No” with the word “Stop” at these times. This change in directive, unlike the word “No,” will avoid confusion in a child’s mind about how serious your expectations are. A child’s compliance, obviously, is the first step to success. However, when you follow any action explaining why you did what you did, you can reinforce a child’s good behavior. This is a healthy alternative to out-of-control parents who consistently relies on yelling, “No, No, No” at their child.

If you are adventurous and seek a new way to avoid overusing the word “No,” consider a game I teach my youth sports classes. Children love Red Light, Green Light. This easy-to-learn game is adaptable to virtually any situation. I use it to improve children’s listening skills and focus; you can use it to help children learn the value of the “Stop” directive. Based on the traffic light concept, children, perform any function like pushing a shopping cart, walking a dog, or brushing their teeth. They stop when you say, “Red Light” and start when you say, “Green Light.” When repeated, children find fun in doing whatever it is they are learning. Using this type of repetitive fun in learning, I have found children to do things better and more consistently motivated by the fun. Remember their motivations; you have to play just for fun sometimes, not just when a “Red Light” is necessary.

A few more tips to avoid the “No” trap. Focus on the little things your child does well and accompany them with praise and affection. As a parent, be a good listener, and have a good attitude. If you use these suggestions, games and tips, you will help build your child’s self-esteem and hopefully prevent their last name from ever becoming No. See you in class!

Kid Quiz for Parents

Coach_Brad — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 17:05:48 GMT

Name Six Parts of the Body You Can Use as a Musical Instrument.

Alcohol Kills Braincells, Only the Weak Ones...

Coach_Brad — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 08:33:25 GMT

The argument use to fly in college walking back from the liquor store with hands full and contemplating a long night ahead of you. Now you drive a minivan and instead of road trips you are behind the wheel transporting your offspring made from the strongest swimmer in the bunch. Days no longer allow you gym time or intramural activities you once enjoyed on campus. Today, the responsibilities of fatherhood find you courageously playing dad and coach to your son or daughter's travel team.

As a coach, who would have known parents could be so brutal. Sometimes, you probably more feel like you are coaching the Bears at Lambeau than facilitating tomorrow's potential high school and college stars. A recent indoor soccer league game gave me first hand insight to the insanity that comes from parents in the stands. I swear they were welcoming in the opposing teams bus on homecoming at Camp Randall rather than watching a youth soccer game.

Here are the facts for sports parents and coaches who want to make a difference and preserve their place to watch and cheer young athletes later at the high school, college or maybe even at the pro level.

These stats come from the National Youth Sports Coaches Alliance or otherwise known as National Alliance for Youth Sports (NAYS).

-70% of children drop out of sports before the age of 13.

-Less than 1% of high school athletes receive a Division 1A sports scholarship.

-1 of 100 plays even a minute in college.

-1 out of 100,000 gets any type of pro contract.

University of Florida research interviewed top collegiate coaches and asked them what characteristics top players possessed. They identified three: 1)A passion for the game 2) A positive attitude 3) coachability.

As a parent who might be possessed with the idea of winning at all cost be careful how you act in the stands. The weak ones are prevalent in youth sports, top athletes are raised a little differently.

Parenting Difficulties at Children's Bedtime

Coach_Brad — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 17:54:55 GMT

Cracking children's code to bedtime is a process not one quick fix solution. In a recent group discussion I had this to say to a women who had difficulty getting her son to sleep.

Her question read. So what do you suggest when a parent asks your advice? As an example - my son won't stay in his bed after cuddles,books,potty and more cuddles?

I think I understand your definition of winning in this situation. Your son goes to bed willingly and without any problems. What we need to know is what your son's definition of winning is when going to bed. Cracking the code to unlocking your son's focus in this area starts with you. Right now, he does not have a problem, you do. The process he goes through every night is normal for him, like clockwork. For you, I can only imagine it is frustrating and you, as I have gathered, want it to change.

I can tell you that beginning to make progress towards winning at bedtime, it will require you to be flexible. I have 45 minutes to get groups of 3, 4, and 5 year olds stretched, building motor skills, a drink of water, learning new sports skills, and playing games before they leave. This is madness for many parents to think about, but a joyful experience for me. No two practices are the same. My classes are filled with children no different than your son, they are spontaneous thinkers and do and say whatever is on their mind IF they are left to think freely. My secret to success is to occupy children's minds with things to think about at every turn.

Lets think about your son. He wants to stay up. What's wrong with letting him? Stay with me, I know this sounds like a stretch. There is, I have to imagine, a part of him going to bed that is a selfish act on your part. You need Mommy time, and I don't blame you. I can't teach many consecutive classes long before I get tired and need a break. Changing this situation will require you set aside your agenda get to know your son's motivations at bedtime and using them to find a healthy compromise. Here is what I know. Fun for children is motivating. Doing what they are not suppose to do can be fun when they find your reaction in it. Your goal is to make staying up late a little less fun and a little less motivating. When they focus on the bedtime process your son needs to contribute more to your idea of winning at bedtime.

Staying up late like everything else has to come with some rules. Here is where you start occupying his mind with things to think about.

Start bedtime a little bit earlier tonight, 30 minutes earlier. Before you do, prepare him by turning off the television and try sitting on the couch and talking. Tonight you will begin the process as you usually ended it, in a one-on-one with him. If he can begin to look forward to talking one-on-one with you earlier this can open opportunities for him to be more focused on what he needs to do for bedtime. In your one-on-one tell him the agenda for the rest of the evening.
Tell him about your surprise. He can stay up late. Go through everything he needs to do to prepare to stay up late in his bed.
Let him run the process. Guide him and help him where necessary, but do not enable him. The point being, if you do all the work why should he be tired at night? Let him pick out the pajamas and put them on. Let him tell you what type of snack before bed. Let him choose the book you read. Let him choose two toys he can take to bed and play with quietly after you turn the light out. Let him prepare the toothbrush with toothpaste and brush his teeth alone.
This work up is a time also when you start to withdraw your "cuddles." Why would he want to go to bed if Mom makes him feel so special at the end of the night?" A kiss on the forehead is all I remember getting as a kid. Maybe I had difficulty at bedtime? You are still cuddling him just in the ways he needs most, verbally. Throughout the process, talk to him and help keep him on target.
Get excited about his opportunity to stay up. Before you read him a story tell him a story tell him how proud you are of everything he did on his own. He is really becoming a big boy. Big boys know how to go to bed on their own.

I know what your fear is. He will stay up until all hours of the night. I am telling you, he should be tired by the end of a long day. This process is designed to have him and any kid for that matter falling asleep within 30 minutes of hitting the pillow. If you remember I added in 30 minutes to the process, this should not lose you any quality Mommy time.

The thing to keep in mind, this is a new process and new things are exciting to kids. It is best he is free from distractions and it may be best to keep the television off as you get started in this new process. Once you've established the routine (3-7 days) you can gradually reintegrate the television.

Nonetheless, he will test you in the beginning by wanting another drink, or having to go potty, or telling you he is hungry, or wanting to turn the light on, or play with a certain toy. How you respond is key here. Be Calming and non-reactive. Be nice, but show him no extra special attention, it is bedtime. He mirrors your responses. Tell him nicely it is the the last drink tonight, softly tell him to go potty, you will open the door or turn on the closet light on but no bedroom light, more drink but no snacks or quickly change toys. He stays in the bedroom as you get him a drink. I know you are tired but you must let these natural processes occur and handle them appropriately, otherwise you shoot yourself in the foot.

Cracking the code to your son's bedtime isn't an exact science but done in this order you hopefully will begin to see some positive changes.

Coach Brad

Kids Say and Do the Darndest Things

Coach_Brad — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 17:17:02 GMT

This day, my Kiddy Kickers soccer class has forteen in attendance. They are unusually squirly seated on the gymnasium's hardwood floor. I use stretching to focus them. As we get into position and wait on a few late arrivals, I notice a boy holding his fist up to another next to him. Slowly, he extends his middle finger and smiles. I am shocked speechless and find myself curiously awaiting the other boy’s reaction. He smiles. Fearing what parents would think of my inaction, I quickly recollect myself and prepare my words. As I lean in, oddly enough, I find myself smiling with them. What I had not recognized originally was the Sponge Bob band-aid on the finger of the first boy. He was displaying it in the way only a five year old could. “Is that a Sponge Bob band-aid?” I asked cheerfully. Appreciative I had notice, he nodded yes. We quickly moved on to more exciting things to occupy his innocent little mind.

--Coach Brad, Chicago-based Youth Sports Instructor

A Vocabulary Lesson for Parents

Coach_Brad — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 20:00:38 GMT

Red Light, Green LightBy Brad Kayden, Youth Sports Instructor

By age five children will have heard the word “No” 40,000 times. As a parent, communicating the difference between right and wrong to children is seldom easy and rarely happens in convenient moments. What is easy is cutting corners and simply saying “No.”

In the busy world of parenting responsibilities where parents are fighting schedules and time restraints, children are fighting parents for quality time. Children don’t know how to ask for a piece of a parent’s time, so they behave in the ways necessary to get recognized. If children do, more often, what is disagreeable to parents than, they will more frequently hear the word “No.” In their fight for attention, this can cause them to be immune to the effects of the word “No.” When it does have an effect, children can be confused by its meaning. For example, you know the difference between the disagreeing “no” of buying them candy and the panicked reaction of yelling “No” to the hazards of a hot stove. Does your child?

Avoiding overuse of the word “No,” will take a little bit of effort and recognition on your part. Consider the difference between the word “No” and the word “Stop” for example. Phonetically, if you say the word “No” three times in a row, you will see how it rolls off the tongue like the rounds from an automatic weapon. Its piercing affect can have a negative impact on children’s self-confidence. However, when you say the more specific directive “Stop” three times in a row, you might realize it takes slightly more energy to say. Hence, in parents’ efforts to preserve time and energy amidst growing responsibilities, it becomes understandable as to why “No” becomes the more preferable word of choice.

Obviously, you would prefer not using either word, “Stop” or “No,” with your children, but this is unrealistic. Like an energy efficient light bulb, your extra investment into saying the “Stop” directive over “No” will create significant amounts of your energy's reduced. First, children are less confusion by what you really mean. When you accept responsibility for what you say, you not your children, control how it influences their behavior. A forewarning, if your children are already pre-conditioned to being told “No,” they will not immediately get that you are trying to change your ways. Be patient. Any significant change worth doing right takes time.

Here is a fun way to get started. Children love "Red Light, "Green Light." This easy-to-learn game is adaptable to your everyday routines and appropriate for ages 2 and above. Use it to help children learn the value of the "Stop" directive. Based on the traffic light concept children perform any function like pushing a shopping cart, walking a dog or brushing their teeth. They stop when you say, "Red Light" and start when you say "Green Light." When repeated and treated like a game, children feel less suppressed and more motivated by the fun of your directives.

Games like "Red Light, Green Light" help build active listening and critical thinking skills that support the gateway to you seeing your children demonstrate good behaviors more consistently. In the end, your children become more the model of your expectations. This parenting tool is effective if you always remember to apply one of my golden rules of coaching: You have to play just for fun sometimes, not just when a "Red Light" is necessary. See you in class!

Unhealthy vs. Healthy Ways of Parent Encouragement

Coach_Brad — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 16:28:51 GMT

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Parent Encouragement in Youth Sports

By Brad Kayden, Youth Sports Instructor

University of West Virginia and Southern Connecticut State University researchers have identified five unhealthy ways parents encourage children in sports.

1. Quick to criticize and slow to praise 2. Selectively shows love, support, and approval based upon the child’s performance 3. Becomes cold and critical when the child fails to live up to expectations 4. Lives out athletic aspirations through the child 5. Encourages the child to mimic the training habits or skills of professional athletes

As a parent, do not let the social pressures to win come at the expense of your child’s self esteem or personal identity. Here are five healthy ways researchers suggest parents encourage children in sport.

1. Emphasize fun and participation 2. Define winning as a level of effort, not the score of the game 3. Measure improvement of skill not by comparison to other children 4. Maintain open communication with the child throughout the sports experience 5. Let the child experience the dynamics of sport at his or her own pace Find healthy ways to share with children the experience of sports and all the life lessons they teach. See you in class!

5 Attention Grabbers Every Parent Needs to Know

Coach_Brad — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 16:11:46 GMT

5 Attention Grabbers Every Parent Should Know

--By Brad Kayden, Youth Sports Instructor

Build Rapport 1st, Deliver Demands 2nd-

Ask simple, open-ended questions and then listen. The few minutes of extra time spent doing this each day will save you hours in frustration every week.

Loosen Up

Yell, sing, dance, laugh, make faces, lay high fives; basically be a kid again. This will build respect for you in your child’s mind.

Speak their Language

Avoid speaking down to children. Role play and begin speaking to them as a child would speak to another. How you say things and what you say often dictates children’s focus.

Use Word Art

Your child’s mind is a canvas; regularly fill it with colorfully imaginative words. Use made up words and crazy words like pickle juice and koo-koo bananas.

Remember to do this other than when you want something from them as well.

Build Anticipation

Discuss the plan-of-the-day. This easy one-on-one parenting time children cherish. It is here they feel your love, stop fighting you and can focus, with your help, on where the fun in the day begins and ends.

Finally it should go unsaid but as adults, we must set good examples and demonstrate good listening skills and focus ourselves. See you in class!