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Milwaukee's Daily Magazine for Friday, Oct. 31, 2014

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Hoan to be renamed British Petroleum Bridge.

Unnamed sources say that the cash-strapped State of Wisconsin is considering selling the naming rights to its highway bridges to private companies as a way to raise money. The first bridge slated for renaming is the Hoan Bridge in Milwaukee with British Petroleum (BP) rumored to be the likely contributing corporation. The exact amount was not disclosed, but is expected to reach into the millions.

BP was not immediately available for comment.

This news comes on the heels of a recent announcement by WisDOT to exclude a bike lane from the upcoming Hoan Bridge rehabilitation.

A representative from the State, speaking off the record, said, "Frankly, we're out of ideas, and this is the best we could come up with. All this talk of bicycles. Blah! And Daniel Webster Hoan. Who was that guy anyway? You know I read somewhere that he was an anti-capitalist. No, bikes and Hoan, they both belong to 20th century thinking. This is a new century and we're looking forward, not back."

And why BP?

"We think their green initiatives are ahead of their time. But more importantly, we like their colors: green and gold. This is a win-win for the people of the State of Wisconsin. We get millions for our empty coffers, and we also get to paint the bridge the official colors of British Petroleum. What's not to like about the green and the gold. That's gotta be good for tourism, don't you think?

"I tear up when I think of all the good I'm doing for the state. This idea of selling naming rights to our bridges is a great leap forward in thinking. I'm proud to say I live in Wisconsin."

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Talkbacks

Harold12 | Dec. 22, 2011 at 4:28 p.m. (report)

This was really stupid - and not funny.

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