It gets better.

Sometimes it doesn't feel like it.  And it sure doesn't feel like it day-to-day.  But, when you get a chance to sit down, or even have a conversation with a friend, take your life decade by decade and add up what you have.

Now, I have more confidence, perspective, influence, abilities, and it has all lead to bettering MY idea of what a good life can be.  At 40, I have better sex (when I have it), I travel more, I am less defined by my career and more defined by my actions and ideas, and I have the best friends I have ever had.  Many of them are from when I was a teenager and they've not only hung in all these years, but they are more dear.  Plus, I am still making new friends - good friends - great friends - I know I'll have for the rest of my life.  

One of the things that has always been important to me are my friendships with men.  Being a gay man, I didn't traditionally surround myself with gay friends; in fact I have far fewer than most.  ("You know Tom & Richard?  No, no I don't..." I hate that.  I don't know every gay person.  I digress.)  I have always had good female friends, but a choice few straight men in my life that I consider real close friends.  My buddy Eric in college, my cousin Trent in my 20s (family!), but they're hard to come by.  Luckily, I am never lacking in friends, male or otherwise.  

There's a new one recently added to the list and, though I know distance may separate us, our friendship will go on (ala Titanic).  We talk about any and everything, we harass the hell out of each other and always look forward to a good chat and laugh - what more does any man need.  (Don't answer that - it only cheapens it! lol)

It may be your priorities that change in your 40s more than you, yourself... and I'm happy to know it.

Cheers