MEET DEAN...

Forced to jump on the Interstate today to head east from Bismarck, N.D. to Medina to Jamestown and Valley City. Bikes are allowed on the Interstate in North Dakota since most of the roads are gravel and many are currently covered because of flooding.

Pulling into a rest stop off I-94 outside Steele, N.D. and a trucker named Dean stepped into my path.

He was taking a pull off his straw sunk deep into a 40 ounce cup of soda. "Listen here girlie May," is how he addressed me.

"I really admire your biking and all; matter of fact I was in the 1980 Olympics bicycling with Eric Heiden."

I raised my eyebrows; I was familiar with Heiden but had a difficult time picturing Dean as athletic.

Let's just say he really let himself go in the last 29 years. I think the correct medical term is, flabbier than shit.

Anyway, he said he had something for me in his rig. He started to mosey toward an 18 wheeler at the side of the rest stop.

Dean was originally from Florida. "I like riding the recumbent bikes now," he said holding his back indicting he wasn't as limber as he used to be.

Climbing up into his cab, Dean came down with a light. "It's a red flashing light for the back of you bike; you'll need this if you're riding on the Interstate."

I didn't quite catch a good glimpse of the light as Dean took it to the side of his cab to put in new batteries.

Although conversation was drowned out by traffic I managed to catch that Dean was hauling wind towers from Bismarck to Fargo. He said the flashing light was used on the towers.

After about 10 minutes Dean came out with my new blinking tail light.

You know those signs on semi's that say WIDE LOAD; suffice it to say the generous blinking light would catch your attention and the folks on the space shuttle.

"We'll just wrap it around one of your bungee cords here and you'll be all set."

I believe the battery replacement operation took so long because there was an arsenal needed for the unit.

"You feel the switch on the back here? Push once and it stays solid, twice and it flashes fast, but you want the third setting because you get the most bat-tree life," said Dean who struck a bearded resemblance to Cooter combined with a genuine Forest Gump personality.

After we got it all in place, I looked over my rig. The rear hung a little low, like when your three aunts all rode in the back of your car.

Dean returned to conversation about himself and his recumbent bike.

"And if you get tired, well you're already sitting down you can just take a nap." And he proceeded to demonstrate his sleeping position, closed eyes and all.

He held the pose for quite a while and I grew concerned he had narcolepsy.

I thought even my sweet new flashing light, isn't going to stop a trucker who spontaneously sleeps at the wheel.

Dean then popped up and laughed. "I was just playin a joke on ya there," he grinned.

"I used to make money racing guys across town on my bike," said Dean pretending to pull up on his handlebars and jump a curb.

Then unannounced, Dean started to pull up his pant leg. "I tell ya, this is what I still carry around with me to this day."

Looking past his wool sock and work boot I stared hard trying to find a scar.

Dean showed me the back of his calf, like a woman trying to see if the seam in her pantyhose is straight.

I wondered what other people at the rest stop thought we were doing.

"Haven't lifted a weight in years, but still got um," said Dean proudly about his brick of a calf muscle.

I feigned a slight, dramatic swoon and mustered a rather convincing hubba hubba.