FUNKY BREWSTER FOR PRESIDENT!
Change? Can't decide if you want a Soulful Black Man or a War Hero for president? Don't bother debating any longer and vote for FUNKY BREWSTER-THE SOULFUL BLACK WARHERO! No longer do you have to choose, with FUNKY BREWSTER you get a true Rock N' Roll Souljer to represent this country! AMERICA LOVES A BLACK MAN! AMERICA LOVES A SOLDIER! AMERICA LOVES A BLACK SOLDIER! As a soldier and ex-prisoner of war you can feel safe knowing that not only will I finish the war in Iraq but the war in Vietnam, Korea, and the Cold one too. As a black man you can feel confident in knowing that I will tax the hell out of the man and have my share of Monica Lewinski types to keep you all entertained. Since I am a War Hero nobody will be able to complain when I send our boys in to harms way because I myself served and therefore have a right to declare wars without appearing cowardly. For the first time ever you will have a President who will be able to use slang and even the N-bomb in speeches without appearing racist... blacks can't be racist! I'm hip to IED's but also BET's AND MTV's. When I'm in office if I happen to say, "You people are niggardly tar babies" you won't have to worry about people taking it the wrong way and letting the controversy distract the nation when obviously I was just generalizing about clinging coveting types. Voting for a man named Barack Hussein Obama for president in 2008 would be like voting for a man named Hirohito Hitler Mussilino in 1948. FUNKY BREWSTER just sounds better folks! Why vote for a black man like Barack who makes Tiger Woods and Bryant Gumball seem soulful when you can have the real deal jive-afro and all. Why vote for some geezer named McAin't McCan't Mc "needs a Cane to walk"? We don't need a president who has HAD strokes we need different strokes for different folks! Cause don't you worry when FUNKY is in "Parliament" it's gonna be a "Chocolate City" I promise! Cause I'm not going to drop A bomb on you--I'm going to drop THE bomb on them! Change? Got any spare Change?
Your Next Prezident,
Funk E. Brewster III
Paid for by the friends of Funky Brewster