The string bikini when worn the way it was meant (on thin, tanned bodies) is a thing of beauty. When worn like it was right out of someone's nightmare, is just that....a nightmare.

A fun casual day at the beach can turn into mayhem when a large woman who refuses to accept the fact that she is not a size 4 strolls onto our sandy haven wearing a suit that was meant for someone half her size.  She will be completely unaware that while she shakes and jiggles her way down the beach that mothers will be shielding the eyes of young children, dogs will be howling, babies will be crying, and straight men within eyeshot will be questioning their sexuality.

The gasps and screams of those who are unfortunate enough to witness the "event" will be heard around the world. Sentences turn into fragments as we try to make sense of it...how could she...why didn't someone tell her...doesn't she know that...I just can't believe...I mean...seriously...?

We feel betrayed by our eyesight. Not only that but we feel betrayed by the company that gave the "ok" to manufacture the string bikini in a size 16. Shame on you. Now we're held hostage by the trainwreck of strechmarks and cellulite on her backside.

Listen, I think there are big beautiful women out there, and this is not an anti blog against women who are overweight. I just think that some things are not meant for eveyone to enjoy, and the string bikini just happens to be one of them (in my opinion). There will be some of you who will comment and say that these women should be applauded for not being ashamed of not being a size 4, and that I would agree with.

But I am a very frank individual, and try not to keep my voice quiet because something might not be totally PC. I suspect that there may be others who feel like I do, but are just to shy to say it. So when the question is posed "who says big women shouldn't wear the string bikini" I'll always say,um....I do.