Saturday August 1st, 2008 - Rosemont, IL/Vernon Hills, IL

What IS cheap these days? Even dirty deeds aren’t dirt cheap anymore. I think they are going to start putting a surcharge on dirty deeds and maybe even a tax on the tooth fairy. I am hearing a lot of sob stories from a lot of people and money is becoming a real issue.

For all the mistakes I’ve made and lumps I’ve taken I really have been blessed with the ability to live beneath my means. I never did have expensive tastes and as I get older I am finding that I don’t really need that much to survive. I live close to the bone and I like it.

One thing I do still enjoy is old sports cards and that can get expensive. This week is the biggest card show of the year called ‘The National’ and it travels around each year. It’s in Chicago this year and I had to put in an appearance. It’s in a suburb called Rosemont and they have a large hall where big card shows happen a few times a year. This is the biggie.

I walked through the aisles with my mouth agape as I saw the sheer volume of stuff that is out there. Anything and everything from old cards to autographs to uniforms to things I didn’t even know existed. I bet somebody had Mickey Mantle’s real liver in a pickle jar.

I’ve been to the National a few times before in different cities and every time I go I have the same feeling when I come out. NOTHING is rare or unique. No matter what trinket or bauble or card I think is truly unusual I can find a dozen of them somewhere at this show.

I go back and forth as to whether or not I want to dabble in being a dealer to make a few bucks but after coming to a show like this it always makes me feel like a flea on the fanny of a rhinoceros. There’s no way I’ll ever catch the biggest dealers. They’re too far ahead.

On the way home I stopped at Vernon Hills Zanies and said hello to the staff because it was on the way. I was hoping to get home to see Dwayne Kennedy on Letterman but he’s been bumped apparently and won’t be on until next week. That’s what I heard at Zanies.

The show this week is called ‘Three Poles Walk Into A Bar’ and I think that’s a brilliant concept. Three Polish comedians perform and there’s a polka band to open and a buffet of delicious Polish food. What a fantastic concept and I admire the guy who thought it up.

His name is Bob Golub and I’d heard his name forever. He was in the movie Goodfellas with a bit part and he’s really Polish. We talked before the show and I told him how much I liked his concept and I wasn’t lying. This is the kind of gimmick more comics should do more often. It gets attention and it really is a good show. One of the other guys is a comic I have heard of for years but never met named Mike Stankiewicz. He’s originally from the Philly area but now lives in New York. Great guy, very funny. They’ve got a winner here.