Thursday June 26th, 2008 - Chicago, IL

Oh oh. I think I made a HUGE mistake. I played the odds and lost big time and now it’s too late to turn around. I’ll have to deal with it and take the blame and move on. The good thing is this can all be fixed with money. The bad thing is I’m in short supply right now.

I was so honked off yesterday about the whole ex-partner thing that I didn’t mention the car wheeling and dealing I did. I sold my Honda and ended up buying not one explodable time bomb from the auction but two. It’s complicated and I think I took it in the tailpipe.

Jerry Agar has an actress come on his radio show that plays a nun. She does a review of the latest movies and it’s a funny bit. The lady who writes that play and has another that’s very successful called ‘Late Night Catechism’ is named Vicki Quade. Vicki is very funny and has been on the air with us doing Jerry’s Kidders when one of the regulars can’t do it.

Anyway, Vicki’s son totaled his car and she was looking for a cheap replacement. Jerry told her to call me because I had two beaters and know where to get more. She called and I told her what I had and she liked the Honda after looking at it and offered to buy it. She is very nice and her son needs a car and I’m not married to the Honda so I said I’d sell it.

The passenger side was sideswiped and it ripped the mirror off and dented it up and I’d never have it fixed but Vicki wants to and that’s fine with me. She is getting a good car to last her son a long time and if she gets the dents fixed it should look really sharp. I liked it when I bought it and it was a one owner car that had care. I put almost 30,000 miles on it.

Here’s where it gets tricky. Last night I went to the auction in Waukegan and didn’t find anything that jumped out at me but I did see a couple of Cadillacs I liked. I love Cadillacs and always have. I know gas is expensive but that’s the best time to buy a Caddy. I’m not booked for all that much road work coming up and I figured I’d get a nice road pig cheap.

The first one I got was a 1990 Seville. It had high miles but it looked great. I capped out my bidding at $400 because I didn’t really want it badly but I thought if I could steal it I’d take a chance on it. The high bid was $425 but the guy backed out so I won it by default.

I figured it wasn’t a huge risk to roll the dice because I could drive it for a while and get my money back in the fall or something. It’s got big plush leather seats and not much rust and looks pretty good for a car that old. I figured I’d have some fun and then dump it off.

Then about a half an hour later a really nice 1998 Catera came up for bids and I’d sat in it before the auction and started it up. The interior was immaculate and the body was very clean too. That model doesn’t really look like the traditional Caddy but it’s still a nice car.

What swayed me to bid on it was that I had a friend who had one and he said it was one of the best cars he ever had. This one had all the toys except a sun roof and the bids were slowing down at $2200. He had paid $6500 for his and it was the same year. I had to bid.

Sure enough I got it for $2200. That’s a lot of money for me but I thought it would be a good idea to upgrade my car situation and hopefully get it down to just one again. I have a bad tendency to buy one and then another one and before long I have no place to put them and it’s a huge hassle. I’ve been scattering myself too much and I wanted to consolidate.

The Honda was a great buy. I got what I paid for it and more and if it wasn’t dented up I probably would have kept driving it until it wouldn’t go anymore but I didn’t think it was smart to spend money getting that bodywork fixed. In my eyes it was tainted and now it’s gone. Vicki will get a good car and I thought I’d turn around and spend that money again.

I would have come out ahead with the Seville and driving that into the ground but I saw the Catera and pulled the trigger. The Catera was very clean and I figured it was worth the risk to get something a little nicer than I’m used to just to establish a mental image boost.

The Honda was ok and the Toyota Tercel runs great but the trunk won’t close and it has a missing gas flap and it’s just a cheap tin can car even in mint condition. Would the King of Uranus drive a dented up Honda or a lowly Tercel? NO. How about a Caddy? Uh huh!

With all that in mind I did the deals and put both cars on my credit card. I delivered the Honda to Vicki and she drove me back to Waukegan to get the Catera. I got in to drive it home and about two miles into my drive I felt something snap under the hood and then it sounded like a popcorn maker. I barely got it home and I could tell there was big trouble.

I am now in a tight spot because I’ll probably have to replace something major. There is absolutely ZERO guarantees at the auction and everything is ‘as is’. I took a chance and it looks like it backfired in my face. I got it home but just barely. Something’s really wrong.

I had driven the Seville home last night to store it and I drove that back to the auction to hopefully run it back through again. I can do that for $25 and hopefully get all or most of what I paid for it back and just wash my hands of it. It turns out it was in a lot rougher of shape than I first thought and it barely made it back to the auction. What a rotten feeling.

Usually I’m very good about picking out auction cars but this time it looks like I’ve lost my touch twice in one day. I knew it was a risk going in and now the worst case scenario has happened and I need to deal with it and move on with my life. I want to be smart here.

The best thing to do is consolidate down into ONE car. I have to do some gigs for these next few days so I’ll take the Tercel on those. It’s registered to me and runs great even if I can’t lock the trunk. It’s really good on gas so that will be a plus as I drive it all weekend.

This is the part of wheeling and dealing cars that isn’t fun. Like gambling, there is a big downside and when that hits everything looks bleak. I have horrible credit and can’t really buy a nice car right now so this will have to do until Uranus Factory Outlet hits big but if it does I’ll still probably go to the auction just because I enjoy it. Yes I got scorched twice in one day but over the long haul I’ve done very well so I’ll take my lumps like a man.