Yesterday one of my girlfriends who is currently staying home with her young son asked me if it was more difficult to be a stay-at-home mom or a working mother. Without missing a beat I said stay-at-home mom.

When my husband and I first learned we were pregnant one of the first books I purchased was not the "What to Expect When Expecting" prenatal staple, rather I picked up a copy of "Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families" by Leslie Morgan Steiner.

A different choice of reading material, but as excited as I was to be having a mini-me, I was thrown by what I wanted to do post-baby. I didn't know if I would want to stay at home full time with our baby and I wasn't quite sure how I would manage working full-time and being a parent. In the end, a helpful husband and a flexible workplace has allowed me to stay home one day a week and work in the office the other four. For us, this six-month trial period has turned into a full-time solution and I have to thank my co-workers for allowing us to have this flexibility.

But my girlfriend's question made me realize that among my girlfriends we have avoided any of the blame game that seems to exist between the home moms and the work moms. In the past two years about 20 of my girlfriends have had children. Each of us has chosen a different path, with a larger portion of the women staying home with their babies for the first year if not longer. Some of them chose to stay home, for others it was difficult to justify going to work when such a large portion of their salaries went to daycare and for some of us we realized that staying home with our kids was not the option for us.

I have been very open with friends that I am a much happier mom when I am able to work. My career is a large part of who I am and I was very much adrift during my maternity leave. Let it be said though that among 90% of my girlfriends we are happy skipping being home the first three months of the baby's life because for us it was a grueling experience (no sleep, constant feedings, unhappy babies and no idea how to soothe them). And that children start becoming more much enjoyable when they begin to interact with you, which unfortnately is right about the time you're returning to work. 

Our son is much happier at daycare as well. When my husband picked him up from his first day of daycare the teachers raved how good he had been to which my husband replied, "Are you sure you're talking about my son?" Prior to daycare, our son could be described as hell baby at times, post daycare, the happiest baby on the block. In the end, daycare is more exciting and stimulating for him than being home with me and that works better for him.

My one day taste of being a Stay-at-Home mom is enough to make me realize how challenging of a job it is. Regardless of if you have a helpful spouse or not, you become the primary caregiver for the child and you are the go to for everything. It requires an awesome amount of stamina to care for your child or children every day and I give so much credit to the women who are in this role.

What is amazing about all of my friends entering parenthood at the same time is that I have never gotten a whif of the media-hyped "mommy wars" among our friends. We try to support each other as we can and I believe we each appreciate the choices and sacrifices we have made, which in the end makes for happy kids and much happier mommies.