I was watching the news and a story came on about people living in open relationships and marriages. I was fascinated as these couples, young and old, described living in relationships knowing that their partners were with someone else, or maybe even a few someone elses, any given day of the week.
This isn't polygamy, which is the practice of multiple marriages, it's polyamory, which is just as it sounds -- the practice of taking more than one lover. This quickly had me debating whether these people are masochists looking to get hurt or if the rest of us are the delusional ones, believing that we'll find that one person and never want or need anything from another.
The idea of marriage and one partner for the rest of your existence goes against many of our primal instincts. Watch National Geographic for five minutes and you'll realize we're all here -- lions, tigers, bears and us, to procreate, to ensure the continuation of the species for centuries to come. But, we're more intelligent than cats and bears, aren't we? Not if you look at the evidence. When it comes to humans we don't have sex just to procreate, we like it, we don't know when to stop procreating (come on people, say it with me, "birth control") and most of us cannot separate our hearts from much of the sex we have.
I'm not naïve enough to think that sleeping with more than one person is a new concept or even a bad one. Hell, I went to college; it was practically a pre-requisite. What I cannot seem to relate to is the belief that I'm in a committed relationship or marriage while knowing that one or both of us is sleeping with other people. That's not commitment, its convenience. In fact, it's just dating. You're married, but there are middle school kids in more committed relationships than yours.
Let's not forget a little thing called jealousy. Most people I know can't stand catching their significant other even checking out another person, let alone joyfully waving goodbye kno…Read more...