Strangely enough, seasonal candy is one of my biggest weaknesses. I love candy corn for Halloween, mini candy canes at Christmas, even Peeps (especially if they're stale) for Easter. But most of all, I like candy hearts or "conversation hearts" for Valentine's Day.

Right now, I'm eating my fifth handful of the day, and although my tongue is starting to feel grainy and raw, I can't stop. I'm particularly enjoying this bag -- Brach's large conversation candy hearts -- because it has the classic sayings like "Honey pie" and "Guess who?" mixed in with the newer ones like "E-mail me" and "Whatever."

I read that this year, Necco, another maker of candy hearts, included a bunch of nature-inspired sayings like "Chill out" and "In a fog" because of America's focus on "saving" the environment. In the early '90s, an ex-sweetheart gave me a bag of X-rated candy hearts, clearly made by people whose first language wasn't English. I remember a little pink one stamped with, "Lick hims."

Six or seven years ago, I was at an art opening at Adambomb Gallerie -- when it was still in Walker's Point -- and I saw a painting that I will never forget. It was a very realistic painting of a tiny candy heart by a local artist -- I think it was Amy O'Neill -- and if you got close enough, you could read the saying on the heart, "F--- you." It was one of the few times I felt like I had to own a piece of art, but it was already sold. ("No way" says the candy heart.)

At this point, I'm just thinking about making Milwaukee candy hearts, and if I did, what they would say. Sentiments like "Go Pack" and "Beer here" are probably unavoidable, but I would like to see "The Fonz" (sorry, Mike Brenner), "Kiss my brat," "Add it up," "Cream puff," "Snake button" and "Shag."