I managed to pick up my copy of "He's Just Not That Into You" exactly when I needed it most.

I had been seeing a complete waste of time, the rebound from my previous long-term, meaningful-but-failed relationship and, as I shared in an earlier blog, I got what was coming to me when this loser cheated.

I rarely look to books, television or films to make lasting impressions on me in terms of life lessons, but in this case I was vulnerable and soaked up every word like a sponge.

Guys, I know you are rolling your eyes right now, but trust me on this one.

If you haven't read the book or seen the film, read the book first. Though it's completely geared towards women guys, can take away the same message and believe it or not, it's a good and relevant one.

So many people out there -- men and women, gay or straight -- are stuck in relationships that devalue who they are and its basically because so many of us manage to convince ourselves of damn near anything to avoid being hurt, rejected or alone. I've been alone and, yes, it sucks, but as I've grown up a little I've realized that being alone is always better than being in a relationship that you doubt day after day.

We've all either said or heard this classic, "He's not calling because he's just so busy right now." Uh, sure, you keep telling yourself that, or call the jerk out on it and dump him.

I've been seeing a guy for a few months and if he doesn't think he's going to have time to call me when he said he would, he calls, texts or e-mails me to let me know. Sure, things come up that you cannot predict and people do sometimes get too busy to call. But if this is a regular occurrence, stop staring at your cell, put down the rocky road and get your butt off the couch and go find someone that's not going to lie to you, someone who is actually into you.

Maybe some of you don't agree with me, but look at it this way -- while you're wasting your time, energy and trust in a relationship with someone that doesn't appreciate any of that, you're probably not open to others who will. And if that doesn't convince you, guess who used to give me the "I couldn't call for three days because I was so busy" BS ... you got it, the cheater!

But, it's not just about cheating. The messages in the book, written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, are simple and usually you'll realize that you've known most of it already you just needed it spelled out in simple yes or no scenarios. If someone doesn't call you when they say they will, if someone lies to you repeatedly, or if someone criticizes your physical appearance or intelligence... just ask yourself if that's how you like to be treated and if that's how you pictured your "loving" relationship, no matter how new it may be.

If you answer "No, this isn't how I want to be treated by someone that claims to care about me," then I guess you know what the issue is, he or she is just not that into you. And guess what will make you feel a whole hell of a lot better about it; getting all of the stuff he or she might be leaving around your place, putting it in a garbage bag and taking out the trash, literally and figuratively.

If someone isn't that into you, then stop being into them. Maybe that's a little harsh but the point is something that I've struggled with all my life, if you don't ever believe that you deserve to be treated honestly and with respect, no one else will either.

The book isn't the "We are women, hear us roar" kind of crap you may think, in fact it was mostly written by a guy, and a straight guy at that. He knows what he's talking about because he's pulled most of the jerk-off moves that he tells women not to put up with.

All those ridiculous things we tell ourselves, all the excuses we make up to protect our hearts, because we don't want to believe that someone we care about would hurt us, but it happens. What you do about it and how you let it affect your perspective is what matters. So when the stories and pathetic excuses stop adding up, you know what you need to do.

I will say this, buyer beware. Well at least to some degree. It's easy to take what the book says to a level on which you will without a doubt end up completely untrusting and inevitably alone. What I took from "He's Just Not That Into You" was simply the message to stop burying my head in the sand, open my eyes and use my ability to read between the lines.

Believe me, after being cheated on and then reading this book, I didn't trust a soul. Guys I dated, friends, co-workers and acquaintances, no one was safe. I went straight to the "one strike and you're out" mindset and it drove me really close to losing a good thing. I didn't want to get hurt again, I still don't, but you have to know the difference in realizing you're dating someone that's just not that into you and driving away those who are because you adopt a no tolerance policy.

When it comes down to it, the philosophy is pretty easy, the next time you find yourself waiting by the phone, making excuses for someone or get lied to, think about the way you act when you really truly like or love someone. You want to be with them, you want to spend time with them, you want to call them, share things with them and be honest with them.

Yes it's true no relationship is perfect and no individual is either, I don't care if you're Brangelina you've still got problems. There is no reason to sell yourself short. Learn to sniff out the wolves in sheep's clothing and don't settle for someone who's just not that into you ... find someone who is not only into you, but totally adores you. It may not happen today or tomorrow, but if you stop hanging around with douche bags you may find it happens sooner rather than later.