There was a time when the black community in Milwaukee was a much safer, family friendly place. I grew up just south of Capitol Drive, a few blocks from Rufus King High. I remember when we could leave our front door open at night; we weren't concerned with burglars.

I remember sitting in my friend's backyard listening to her uncle share stories about "how good we had it" compared to his life in Mississippi. Even though his generation saw deep oppression, he always had a smile on his face.

I also remember when your friend's mom could "yell at you" because the neighborhood moms had an unwritten pact: "If you ever see mine doing something he's not supposed to be, take care of him and then send him home to me."

Discipline wasn't considered a blow to self esteem; it was simply preparation for life. There was definitely a greater sense of "village" and "we're all in this together." Bad behavior wasn't tolerated, accountability was the norm, and most of us were taught that education and following the rules was the key to success.

Yes indeed, those were the days.

From time to time, I take a trip down memory lane and drive past the house I grew up in. It's fared pretty well, and for the most part, the neighborhood looks about the same. But I've talked to some of the old neighbors and they say gone are the days when you could tell someone else's child to straighten up and fly right. Most of the corner stores are closed because of robberies.

Children still play tag, jump rope and hide and seek but you hear a lot more swear words and the music is well, what it is. The sense of village is gone because the mentality has changed from "each one, teach one" to every man for himself.

What prompted me to write about "the village" is a commentary I read about the important role the extended family used to play in the black community. Specifically, if having positive familial input would have made a difference for the black athletes who, in many cases, turn "their fame into disgrace rather than adulation."

Former Atlanta Falcon Michael Vick comes to mind, now doing time for illegal dog fighting. Bringing this closer to home, what if the people who committed senseless acts of violence in our city were surrounded by those who discouraged their wrongdoing? Perhaps we wouldn't see so many futile pursuits of criminality.

This year will mark 143 years since the end slavery and 40 years since the death of Martin Luther King Jr. The saying "It Takes a Village to Raise a Child" is attributed to an old African proverb. I'm hoping that '08 will mark a return to the village mentality and I challenge YOU to please take a moment and think what this proverb really means for all Milwaukeeans.

To me, it means remembering that there is something to be learned from every situation and every person. It means that you are responsible for imparting common sense and wisdom to children. It also means realizing that everyone in the village, from the village idiot to the old man or woman offering sage advice, has something to offer. It means you're committed to teaching a child to respect the elders.

And most importantly, it means that we stop making excuses for bad behavior and stop blaming other people, situations and the government for our mistakes and faults. Children see whatever behavior we model and will imitate. Children need to learn accountability and resilience; as village elders, we are their teacher.

For years, members of the black community (including me) have been blaming our problems on rap music and the glorification of drugs, sex and money. Learned helplessness, a false sense of entitlement, falling away from the church and a strong sense of apathy: these are the real cancers that are killing us.

And the root cause for all of this: too many have neglected their responsibilities as adults. Adults are supposed to provide for, protect, love and keep children safe. Many aren't. Although time has been wasted hope is not lost. There is much work to be done. Hands will get dirty. Egos will be bruised, there will discomfort and yes, there will be tears but I believe the results will be worth the effort.

I'm ringing the bell! The message is clear: our Milwaukee village needs parents. Stop looking for the next MLK or Malcolm X; they were here and they imparted their knowledge, now it's our turn! In 2008, I sincerely hope that more people will start to speak up and be the leaders they constantly are looking for. And perhaps, sooner rather than later, we'll all join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty I'm free at last.