 |
"Motherfest" is an OnMilwaukee.com-exclusive column about parenting. |
 | By Molly Snyder Edler   OnMilwaukee.com Staff Writer E-mail author | Author bio More articles by Molly Snyder Edler |
| Published Feb. 18, 2008 at 5:17 a.m. |
|
Recently, I met a woman at a kid-friendly event. We instantly started chatting about all sorts of topics, from music venues to our favorite pizza joints. I liked her. She is smart, witty and good at listening (as opposed to those who pretend to listen while conjuring up what they're going to say next.) Then, we started talking about parenting.
The conversation started out well enough. She asked me where I shop for groceries, and I lamented to her about having three constantly hungry boys (including the 37-year-old "boy" with whom I live) and she laughed. However, she then started talking about her food regimens: her commitment to organic food, the problem with artificial food coloring, her aversion to fluoride, etc.
After a few minutes, my son said he had to go to the bathroom and I felt a flood of relief to get away from this woman who, just moments ago, I found completely friend-able. While waiting for my son to finish his 25-minute poop (I'm not kidding; it's a new phase that's really annoying), I thought about why I was going to try to avoid this person when I went back to the event.
The thing is, I am committed to my sons' health, and often I do fall on the granola side of the line, but I am officially "talked out" when it comes to discussing every food or environmental hazard that could hurt my kids. I find myself constantly in conversations about the horrors of cows' milk or the evils of drinking from plastic water bottles, and such conversations make me feel fearful and negligent. If I want those feelings, I'll read mainstream parenting magazines.
Plus, information changes all the time. Many of us thought soy milk was the ideal alternative to cows' milk, and years later learned that too much soy might cause reproductive issues and cancer. Shall I beat my head against a wall right now?
Parenting is scary enough, and I do my best to stay informed, but since I can't control every aspect of my kids' world, I need more lightheartedness and humor to get me through. I think the recent string of shootings on campuses and in malls has made me even more vigilant about keeping a sense of humor. It's either that or dig a bomb shelter in my backyard and move into it with the kids forever.
I have a bevy of awesome friends who inspire me to be a better mom and have educated me on health-related subjects and practices that I find very valuable, but these days, I most admire the moms who can let some crap slide.
Actually, I think I'm secretly hunting for "bad mom" friends. You know, a mom who might turn the other cheek if her kid occasionally doesn't wash his hands after going to the bathroom or isn't concerned that M&M's are going to lower IQ scores.
Where is my Punk rock Mama Friend who lets her kid listen to her iPod too loudly, or Drive-through Mama Friend who finds nothing wrong with the occasional Happy Meal, or Teletubby Mama who lets her kids sit in front of the boob tube so she can clean the kitchen and gab on the phone with her best friend?
Seriously, where are these ladies?
|
12 comments about this article. Post a comment / write a review. |
Recent Talkbacks ...
Posted by jjtops on April 21, 2008 at 1:13 p.m. (report)
Gee, after reading all these comments, I guess I didn't realize that I'm one of those unbearably uptight organic food a-holes that sends the average "punk" mom running. By buying my daughters, my husband and myself organic food instead of overly processed, artificially colored/flavored, transfat-filled instant dinners, it appears I've lost my street cred. Damn! And to think that all those years living as a punk rocker artist, actress and junkie back in the 70s and 80s mean I'm nothing but an elitist drag. Kinda bursts my bubble. I consider myself a "Punk Mama" because I was one, back when a lot of these so-called "bad mom" "tatted" hipsters were poopin' in their plastic diapers, sitting in front of crappy 80s cartoons. My girls and I bop to the Ramones as well as to just about every other type of music, create art/words/music of our own and, on occasion, have popcorn and apples for dinner (lots of fiber!) We also eat LOTS of chocolate, the occasional grease-drenched donut, and sometimes even wolf down McDonald's french fries. As long as someone doesn't get on their cage-free high horse, both camps should be cool. The reason I buy organic is to minimize in some very small way the toxic chemicals we're all eating, submerged in each and every day of our cancer-ridden lives. I did it for myself way before I had kids as a way to hopefully repair the damage I inflicted upon myself and figure my daughters deserve to eat an apple or a grape that's less tainted than a commercial variety sprayed with 4, 5 or 8 different pesticides. Whaddya say we make a toast to politically incorrect, occasionally "bad" but loving moms by slugging down a brewski and chompin' down some organically grown, cooperatively farmed guacamole and chips? We can still be friends, right?
| Rate this: |
Posted by ziggyc on Feb. 27, 2008 at 2:48 p.m. (report)
i'm here and sooo with you on this...
| Rate this: |
Posted by lala75 on Feb. 20, 2008 at 3:23 p.m. (report)
I hear ya! It's hard enough sometimes getting them to EAT much less eat what you think they should. Yes, organic is best, but when you're living on one income, who can afford it unless you grow it? We all grew up watching tv and we're ok. My daughter watches tons of tv, yet she also knows the entire alphabet, has been speaking in full sentences for the last year and can count to 16 at the age of 2. It's about so much more than the trendy strictures our society has decided that make a balanced child.
| Rate this: |
Posted by CarolV on Feb. 19, 2008 at 1:13 p.m. (report)
I'm there. When you work fulltime+ and are involved with other community activities, and live for your kids and husband too, something has to give and I don't want to feel guilty about it. I can't overthink basic foods, occasional fast food, music, etc. Kids need to be exposed to lots of things, and lots of people (and lots of experiences) to be more well-rounded. And, my kids are physically fit, on their developmental milestones if not faster and, seemingly well-adjusted. When my kids go away to college, I want them to be as independent as possible and not be a hovering, overly worried mom so daycare, germs, food variety (good and bad), etc. all will go towards their social adjustment, intelligence and personality development. One additional aside--but related to the overprotective nature of the all organic, overly measured and hypervigilant parenting trends...all this "antibacterial" soap and stuff is probably killing basic immunities that we need. I wonder if part of that is contributing to chemical sensitivities on the rise, etc.? I think I'm a good mom. I think you are too Molly :)
| Rate this: |
Posted by Punkmama on Feb. 19, 2008 at 12:38 p.m. (report)
Let me be your new punk mama friend. My son, 11 cranks up the ipod, with tunes like the Ramones. My daughter who's 5 is slightly obsessed, although she uses the word "addicted" to Mario on DS. Frozen pizza and breaded chicken patties are a staple for dinner. At my son's last dentist appt. the dr. made a point to bring me into the room to stress the importance of him brushing his teeth. I'm a good mom, but I'm also a broken record who can only say something so many times and if they don't get it, I move on and hope that someday they will. I'm also newly back to the Milwaukee area and seriously would appreciate having another punk mom friend...
| Rate this: |
Show me the other 7 Talkbacks
| Top Clicks | Top Searches | Most Talkbacks |
- Do I really need (or want) a Powermat?
- External or internal compass?
- Rapid review: Roots Restaurant & Cellar
- Six strategies to deal with tantrums
- Motherfest: If parenting had a slogan, what would it be?
- Motherfest: To Wii or not to Wii
- Video of the Day: Transferring music from iPod to computer
- Motherfest: "How do we know our life is real?"
- Motherfest: Do I love my biological kid more than my adopted kid?
- Video of the Day: A new version of iPod "shuffle"
