The rules for public drinking here in Milwaukee are pretty lacksidasical, but there are still a few dignities we must uphold and here they are:

Rule #1: You cannot do shots by yourself. This is sad behavior. At the very least, buy the snoozing slouch at the bar a thimble of moonshine.

Rule #2: You can drink as many beers as you want, as long as you don't hurl insults or hurl your dinner. Public drunkenness is perfectly acceptable, as long as you remain polite. Polite is rule number two (after "be nice") in Milwaukee culture, and must be abided by at all times, even when you're lit up like a fake fireplace.

Rule #3: When unsure what to order, order local. Although many reported headaches the size of Maui the morning after Miller Time, it sure beats buying a beer from one of those breweries that abandoned us. Lakefront, however, is a better choice. I recommend the underappreciated Klitsch beer.

Rule #4: Tip your bartenders. We are known as a non-tippin' town, and that's just not cool. So, scoop out a few surplus shillings for our drink-slinging soul siblings.

Rule #5: Limit your snack bingeing. Yes, the M&M's at Paddy's Pub are a tasty touch, as are the cashews at Blu, but the attitude of "loading up on free snacks" is as classy as a Packers-themed wedding. Just don't do it.

Rule #6: You saw this one coming, but pretty please, don't drive drunk. Take the bus drunk. Take a cab drunk. Skip or gallop home drunk. Even hitchhike drunk, but don't drive your car. DUI or DWI is simply DUMB.

Other rules of local drinking etiquette you can think of? Use the talkback feature and add to the list!